we must believe we are gifted for something

[swingatshadows]

The first time Cindy heard of the Darrow School for the Gifted was in a conversation with Theresa, who had mentioned that there were certain different networks that people could rely on to find other powered individuals in Darrow — in the School's case, specifically people who gathered together in the name of learning. From the moment it was first explained to her, Cindy thought the idea intriguing, perhaps very near perfect for helping out clueless young individuals like herself, who didn't know where powers and gifts really fit in the construct of "normal" society.

It was an idea that made her heart ache for how much she wished she could have had something like this, rather than the nebulous instruction of a man who rarely even tried to meet her face to face, instead sending recordings and messages to a small television screen in a bunker located underground. Maybe if she had other people around her, she wouldn't have been so isolated. Wouldn't have been so clueless about the things happening in the world.

Wouldn't have had to make decisions in a vacuum, confused and uninformed.

It took a while before Cindy mustered the courage to at least check the school out. She wanted to make sure she kept her jealousy in check, to think instead of the opportunity that such a place could offer to young people, rather than feel bitter over lacking that direction herself. Whether or not Cindy really had anything to offer to such an institution, she didn't know. But it couldn't hurt to meet people, right?

Theresa had recommended that Cindy meet Raven, a young woman who had been involved with the School for longer. And so Cindy was at the main entrance to the building, looking up dubiously, wondering why her chest was pounding so hard in her chest.

It was intimidating, in some ways. She wished she had something to hide behind, if only partially — her hands kept itching for the scarf that she normally wore over her mouth while in costume. But if she wanted to be invited to a place like this, Cindy felt that the least she could do was be transparent about who she was, and what she could do.

Besides, if Theresa trusted Raven, Cindy had nothing to worry about, right?

Cindy cringed to herself, nervously rubbing at the back of her neck before she stepped inside, trying to relax her expression into a smile. There was a woman waiting there, who must have been...

"Um, hi. Are you Raven?" she greeted. "I'm Cindy — I think Theresa might have mentioned that I was coming."

Comments

[and_proud]

Whenever the news of a new visitor to the school arises, Raven can't help but have mixed feelings. She wants the school as full and as productive as Charles had planned it but, still, there's always going to be the worry that she'll accidentally let in the wrong person.

The last thing she wants is for the people she cares most about to suffer because of her mistakes. There's been enough of that already. Or there will be – she's never understood the leaps backward and forward in time.

Still, anxiety aside, she's determined to be as welcoming and friendly as possible and so she's smiling as she spots Cindy. "Hi," she greets in turn. "I am Raven. And Theresa did. It's... wonderful to meet you. Did you want to look around?"

[swingatshadows]

"Hey, yeah! Hi!" Cindy replied, immediately warming up when it seemed that Raven was pretty receptive to her being there. There were always some people who seemed wary when a new powered human entered their midst — and Cindy couldn't even blame them. She knew that her relative inexperience had certainly gotten in the way of a lot of people just over the past year. But she supposed that a school environment tended to lend itself to forgiveness and room for error.

It was interesting, thinking back to how much she had taken that sort of environment for granted in the past.

"It's nice to meet you — Theresa's said great things. I don't know what your standard protocol is for showing people around, but yeah, I Would definitely like to check this place out. And can offer more details about myself, if it's helpful," she added, hooking her thumbs into a couple of her belt loops as she glanced around.

[and_proud]

"Our protocol isn't really clearly defined," Raven admits. Charles would have had a better idea of how to deal with all of that – especially with the years he'd spent administrating a similar school – but she'd still be lost without Luke. "Discretion is key, obviously," she says, leading Cindy through the halls. For a place so new, it feels old. "And you can tell me whatever you're comfortable with. We want people to be open but there's no obligation to expose anything you're not... ready to."

It had taken her long enough to reveal her real identity to even her best friends, here, after all.

[swingatshadows]

"That's cool. Always nice when you're not overly bogged down with protocol," Cindy said with a smile. Working for S.H.I.E.L.D. had been one of the more uncomfortable stretches of her heroic career; all the rules and regulations were overwhelming at best, and made her feel like an impostor at worst. Going by common sense was a lot more comfortable for Cindy.

"Discretion makes sense. I've... seen enough of the sort of prejudice you can face when you're too open about these things," admitted Cindy. "I'm lucky enough that I have the option of disclosing myself or not, but I wish it wasn't even an issue."

She bit her lip, briefly hesitating over whether or not to reveal herself to Raven. Then again, if Raven was Theresa's friend and colleague, what harm was there really? "I guess the way to describe my powers would be to compare them to what a spider can do. Climb walls, spin webs," she explained, pressing her thumb and forefinger together, then pulling them apart to reveal a thick strand of silk between them.

[and_proud]

Raven also has the option of not disclosing her powers, too. It just so happens that those very powers are what allow her to keep from disclosing the greatest truth: what she looks like, the way she was born, what's beneath this manufactured costume of blonde hair and pale skin.

"Me too," she says. Things in Darrow have been okay, for the most part, but she's aware of times and places where that hasn't been the case. She'd seen the files and what Trask had done to her friends and her enemies. It's why she'd kept the school going instead of shutting down entirely when Charles disappeared. There needed to be a place where the inherent prejudices didn't exist.

"Wow," she says. No matter how many powered people she comes to meet, she'll still always be in awe at their range of abilities. "Were you born that way, or did something happen after?"

[swingatshadows]

Raven didn't offer to disclose her abilities in turn — which was fine, Cindy thought. It wasn't something that she ever wanted to force out of another person; it simply felt better when she was able to put herself out there. Made her feel like she didn't have to carefully step through a minefield. Made it easier to reconcile the two different lives she had, and how they were ultimately connected to the same person.

"Yeah, it's pretty neat," Cindy said, rubbing her fingers together to help the silk disintegrate. When she wanted, she could make silk that would last for days — but this was just to demonstrate what she was generally capable of. "I wasn't born this way though, no. I was bit by an irradiated spider about... twelve years ago now, I guess. A few hours after that, my body started going haywire. Produced a ton of silk in a short amount of time. It took a lot of training to bring everything under control. Which is why schools like this make me feel so hopeful. It would have been so nice if I had something like this when I was going through all those changes."

[and_proud]

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Raven says, a little wistfully. She had Charles, of course, and the mansion was the ultimate sanctuary, but she still had to pretend to be anyone but herself. Even her own brother had made her feel pressure to fit in.

When she'd met Hank and the others, she'd felt an overwhelming sense of relief that she wasn't alone and that, together, they could do anything.

Until, of course, Hank went away and broke her heart and made her fear that even among mutants, she'd always be an outcast. "That must have been a lot to deal with. I'm – how much do you know about shapeshifters?"

[swingatshadows]

There was a sense of longing that Cindy felt in Raven's tone. Asking what her experience like was probably too personal for a first encounter — especially when Cindy's abilities had only struck when she was well on her way to being an adult. There were some people, Cindy knew, who were born with these powers and abilities, who had to learn how to cope with them as children in a world that wasn't made to accommodate much beyond the norm.

Compared to that, Cindy's troubles seemed practically trivial.

"It was... an adjustment," admitted Cindy. "A lot harder on my family than it was on me individually."

She paused. "At a high level, I know about shapeshifters. Can't say I understand how it all works, though," Cindy said, offering a small and encouraging smile. She didn't want to make light of the ability.

But it sounded pretty freaking cool.

[and_proud]

"I can imagine," Raven says, though she's not sure that she really can. She's never really known what it's like to have parents after her biological ones cast her aside, if anything Charles had played the part of brother and father (a revelation it had taken being separated from him for her to realize.)

"I can't say I understand how it works, either," she admits with a breath of a laugh. Charles had known all of the science. All she knew was that when she looked at something, she could become it. That if she heard enough words, she could copy a voice. That her fingerprints could become another's.

She could be a criminal with all of it and in another world, she apparently is. "When I was very young, I thought it was just... magic." Dark magic. "Do you want to see?"

[swingatshadows]

Cindy laughed when Raven admitted to not knowing exactly how her own powers worked. To be fair, it wasn't like Cindy was sure of any of the biology that had been altered after she was bitten by that spider, either — she just knew the consequence of it, and had been doing her best to understand everything that her new body was now capable of.

Which was basically how Cindy tended to operate anyway. Understanding the theory of something was far less interesting to her than the application. As long as she knew what something did, did she really have to understand all the nuts and bolts of how it worked in the first place?

"I totally want to see," Cindy grinned, her expression eager and curious. "Because that sounds — I mean, it totally sounds like magic, I can understand why you thought that when you were younger."

[and_proud]

Cindy's enthusiasm is encouraging but Raven can't help the natural anxiousness that arises, the way she'll probably always feel each time she has to show someone what she does. As cool as it is on the surface, she's not sure she'll ever be able to express what it is to be here and to be able to do what she does.

"Okay," she exhales, looking Cindy over once again before she borrows her form. Her blonde hair turns black, grey-blue eyes brown. Just a few seconds later she's a mirror image of the other woman, awaiting her reaction. If she has her own abilities, Raven doesn't anticipate she'll freak out, but she can never be sure.

[swingatshadows]

Cindy watched, her lips parting a touch, as Raven's appearance transformed before her eyes. It was so fast, so fluid — it didn't particularly look painful on the outside, though Cindy supposed she couldn't be sure whether or not it was without asking Raven. And somehow, that felt like too much to ask just then. Too much after witnessing something that was strangely intimate.

Someone else was wearing her image, her skin. A small voice in the back of Cindy's head wondered if Raven could be a better Silk than Cindy was herself.

"That's wicked," she breathed, finally allowing herself a smile.

Do people say wicked anymore? Doesn't matter. It's still exactly that.

"We've only been talking for, what, several minutes? But you look exactly like me, every detail," she marveled. "That's absolutely amazing. Do you need a model to base your shapeshifting on? Or could you like... imagine an entirely different appearance and make it work?"

[and_proud]

'Wicked' makes Raven smile and relax a little – at least as much as she can when she's in a skin that's not her own. The blonde haired girl she usually pretends to be is so close to who she is now that it's so much easier, but there's always going to be something to fight against when she's not blue.

"A little of both," Raven says, choosing to speak in her own voice for now. Sometimes she's careful how much detail she shares just in case there are Trask-like scientists in Darrow who would use it against her and her kind. With Cindy, though, her vagueness is just true to life. "I can take as many details as I want from a person and either make myself entirely them or just... pieces of."

[swingatshadows]

"That's seriously amazing. I mean it, and not just because the ability is cool, but like... if you were able to look at me and replicate me so quickly, that means that you must really have a gift for this," Cindy pointed out, her cheeks blushing slightly in awe. "That you could just look at me, size me up, morph yourself into my appearance. You must watch people really closely to get that kind of accuracy."

Cindy couldn't help but wonder how long Raven had practiced to manage this level of proficiency. If shapeshifting worked by means of borrowing someone's genetic material, Cindy wouldn't have been as floored. But she was starting to suspect that there was a lot more to Raven than first met the eye.

"So you mentioned shapeshifting when you were really young. Did you like, subconsciously shift even when you were an infant? Or did it always have to be something you carefully focused on?"

[and_proud]

The questions are overwhelming. Raven knows the intent behind them is curiosity and nothing more sinister than that, but it all still makes her think of the future that might have been if she'd gone with Erik and followed the path that ended with her imprisoned by Trask.

"I couldn't always shift," she manages to answer, trying not to let her unease show. She'd asked Cindy about her own abilities, it's only fair. "Most mutants I've met grow into their abilities. But I was born looking different, so when I learned to shapeshift it became about survival. I guess it is... a little bit automatic, otherwise I wouldn't be able to do it so quickly."

[swingatshadows]

Oh. She was born looking different — that's gotta mean that she was born looking not so blonde-haired and blue-eyed, right? (Okay, looking closer, I think her eyes are actually gray, but you catch my drift.)

"I'm sorry that things were so difficult," Cindy said quietly, her expression sobering. "Not to make assumptions or anything, but learning to do anything for the sake of survival sounds kind of rough. I didn't mean to pry so much, but I really appreciate you sharing this with me."

She smiled grimly. "I'm pretty sure that my powers made my whole family a target. Even before arriving here, I... hadn't seen my parents in a decade. Still have no idea where they are. I hate that these things sometimes come at such a cost."

[and_proud]

"No, no, you didn't pry," Raven says quickly, guiltily, shaking her head. It's not what she's meant to imply. If Raven were in the same position – and in some ways she is – she'd be just as curious.

"That's awful. Nobody should have to be apart from their loved ones because of who they are or what they can do."

It's why she never had parents growing up, why so many of her friends were killed by Trask and his men. Different puts a target right on a back, just like those mysterious marks so many carried almost a year ago now.

"That's... kind of what we're trying to fix here, too."

[swingatshadows]

"Yeah," Cindy said, her gaze growing distant for a moment. It was hard to feel that she could rest all the blame on the circumstances of her powers. No matter what, she couldn't help but think about how she hadn't tried very hard to stay with her family. She hadn't tried very hard to make it work.

Other people probably had more mettle than she did.

"Well, you can count me in to contribute however I can," Cindy said, squaring her shoulders with a small smile. "I've got a pretty handy set of skills and a surprising amount of free time. I'd like to help this place be a safe and secure haven for as many people as possible."

[and_proud]

The conversation isn't an easy one, Raven can tell, for either of them. When Cindy starts to say that she'll contribute however she can it feels a little like the tension has been lifted and Raven shares her smile. "I'm with you on the free time," she says with a light laugh. "We don't have classes or anything, yet, but you're always welcome here. And welcome to bring anyone who might benefit from it."